so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
