you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
