all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
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One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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