why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
