It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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