it wasn't lemon gatorade
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
