I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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