take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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