3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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