So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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