I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
