Yo dont text me then not text me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
