so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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