i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize