just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
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It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
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You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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