her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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