I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
