i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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