You're completely useless in the revolution.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
