It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
