You smell like a Billy Joel song
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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