I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
