i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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