Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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