Apparently you make a good broom.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I want a musical about memes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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