carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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