I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
