woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
