I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
