Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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