someone get that fucking seahorse.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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