i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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