some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
