I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Mom said you looked used
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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