so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Drunk is not a location!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
