Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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