HIV tests are more positive than that guy
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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