I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
