oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
