Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
