I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
