Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
