I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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