The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
