3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
