so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
