With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I love you. Go after that dick
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