Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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