3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
