Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
