Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
