That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
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My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
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You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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