sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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