ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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