your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
