Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
