Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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