physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
