At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
