did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You were trust falling into bushes
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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